Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
dude. I can hear the air.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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