I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
