You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
