sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
