I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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