the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
