is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
