So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
