So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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