We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
