margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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