He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
