So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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