i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
