Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
These tits shall not be calmed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
