You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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