Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
