a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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