just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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