I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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