I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
