I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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