So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
