Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
this hospital has no fireball
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize