Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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