just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
