I puked a lego.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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