she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
