Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
