I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
