I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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