my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
