who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
