If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
