In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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