i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
