Moan for me like Helen Keller
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
