I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
