You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
