People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
