Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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