Dual....:-)
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
