Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
being pregnant is like rehab
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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