Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
