I must be too annoying 4 u.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
