some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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