Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
