Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
they're like a gay fantastic four
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
