So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
