i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
