Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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