I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
